Arsenal in for Edinson Cavani, Isco and Pedro?

As we now know, the campaign slogan “Better Together” is obviously a hugely inspiring one. How else could you possibly explain the results of the vote in Scotland that the Rumour Mill is waking up to this morning? We assume it was the prospect of a giant, UK-wide hug that persuaded them to stick with this ol’ union, a spirit of togetherness motivated by that slogan, “Better Together”. Let’s all help each other out, let’s be grand to each other, let’s just be really nice and stuff.
In that spirit, and with a topical event shoe-horned in as a pathetic attempt capture the zeitgeist, the Rumour Mill would ask all Arsenal fans to stop reading now. It’s only fair on you really, because there is talk, in the paragraphs to come, of Arsène Wenger signing some players that could genuinely help them out and potentially help them become a real force in the Premier League title race, and possibly beyond. These signings will, of course, not happen, so in the spirit of friendship and togetherness, the Rumour Mill suggests that reading any further would just get your hopes up, Gooners, so you shouldn’t. Stop right here. Click away from this page. Do something else. Don’t fill your hearts with the cruellest emotion.